Facing Rejection From Your Dream College: What's the Next Step?

(Anjali Maazel): I want to share some tips on how to frame rejections that can help you going forward even after you have completed the admissions process. I recently read an article in the New York Times which highlights the various ways in which people have learned to embrace rejection. At a magnet school in Los Angeles, for example, the college counselor hosts a rejection party each year for the seniors who did not receive an acceptance letter. Students print out their rejection letters and feed them into a shredder while their peers cheer them on. They then celebrate with ice cream and a pledge not to be defined by the college they attend. Another teacher at a public school in New York started a rejection wall for seniors to normalize rejection as a part of life. As soon as a student puts a rejection letter on the wall, they're greeted with a round of applause and an opportunity to dip into the rejection grab bag filled with ring pops, candy bracelets, and Rubik's cubes. Instead of hiding our rejections like we're encouraged to do on social media, we can learn to accept denials as a normal part of life, sharing our stories and putting a lighthearted spin on the situation. The fact is, rejections are going to happen if we are ambitious human beings reaching with passion for new opportunities, even beyond college admissions. Each time you apply for something, there will be some rejections. One professor at UC Irvine gives a party to her graduate students each time they reach 100 rejections for academic journals, conferences, grants, fellowships, and jobs. This kind of tradition combats any shame that might arise from a denial. When we look at someone's resume or CV, we only see the things they tried that actually worked. We don't see the denials and rejections in between their successes. So we think that high-achieving individuals have an unbroken winning streak, but it's not true. Check this out. Johannes Haushofer's CV of Failures, a document that went viral a few years ago, is really interesting to look at for a variety of reasons. Haushofer is a professor of economics who taught at Princeton for a while and shared his CV of failures on Twitter, explaining that the document lists all of his rejections in academia. And the CV includes failed funding applications, rejected papers, and academic positions he applied for but did not get. The point of his sharing this was to normalize failure and to show that success is always built on a foundation of many rejections. So if you look through this document, you're going to see his introduction, which is really interesting. this document, you're going to see his introduction, which is really interesting. And he says, most of what I try fails, but these failures are often invisible while the successes are visible. I've noticed that this sometimes gives others the impression that most things work out for me. As a result, they are more likely to attribute their failures to themselves. And then he goes on to say, the world is full of random events and also there are factors outside your control. Remember we described yield and yearly college agendas. This is really important to understand. These are factors outside your control that can definitely impact college admissions. So we're providing you with both his CV of failures and you'll see, I mean, he's got some amazing accomplishments, but also some spectacular rejections right along the way. So we've included his CV or curriculum vitae, which is a longer resume, of failures and also of successes. So you can see, you know, this is what he actually did get in terms of academic positions, in terms of education, in terms of different affiliations, awards, and publications. So if you have any doubt that failure is a normal part of life, we're hoping that by looking at these two resumes next to each other, right? The failures and the successes of this, just this one professor, you're going to start to understand how success is built on a foundation of many failures. My message to you is this. If you receive a rejection letter from a college, let yourself feel disappointed, sure, but do not equate this setback with a permanent failure. You might even make a resume of failures and a resume of successes and possibly enlist your friends for a rejection party. It takes a lot of setbacks for any one of us to achieve our goals. So let's keep our eyes on the prize, building a life of purpose and financial stability. Your long-term success and well-being, as we saw at the very beginning of this journey, is all about what you do with your peers and with your professors when you get to college, not the rank of the college that you are attending. So ask yourself, will you let your setbacks define you? This is called fixed mindset. Or are you going to resolve right now to grow wiser and stronger from your setbacks? That's a growth mindset which will benefit you throughout your life. This is a pivotal task to undertake as a young adult. Decide right now to become more resilient and more capable by viewing setbacks as opportunities and by honoring yourself for your efforts and your aspirations. The only way to avoid rejection is to avoid engaging with life, which none of us really wants. Wise teacher once said, there are no obstacles on the path to becoming all that we can be. The obstacles are the path. So embrace your successes and your failures, knowing that both work together to move you forward in your journey to becoming a professional and a human being whose talents will make a difference in this world.